Simple conclusion, right? Not so fast.
Everything that we do, every device that we rely on to do our work (computer, phone, email, Blackberry, etc.), in short, nearly everything in our daily path moves us farther away from listening. Speaking in extreme terms, our entire lives now seem set up not to listen to each other.
Why have we allowed this trend to take hold? The reasons are numerous. Listening requires more attention than any of us have on a given day. It's hard work, which means we don't want any part of it.
Then there's the fear and anxiety side that usually results from dealing with difficult personalities. To paraphase Emerson, individual ego and personality often speak so loudly that it's difficult to hear someone says.
To truly listen often means hearing what's not being said as well as what's being said. That skill is rare, but if you find someone who can effectively read between the lines, you'll find a loyal following somewhere close by.
So, what can we do to listen better?
Step one is awareness. If you're not connecting with someone or unable to leave a lasting impression, you're not observing the basic rule of listening: Consciously thinking about what the other person is trying to convey prior to articulating your own response.
It also helps to learn first what your audience doesn't want to hear and then work your way back to what they do want to hear. No one actively seeks confirmation for what they don't want to know. However, when framed in a different context, it's often possible to reach common ground without having to sacrifice your original intent.
Good luck 'listening to create loyalty' in 2005.
It could be the resolution that no one else has, ahem, listened to already.
JG
P.S. If you're still reading, please feel free to post some anonymous counter-commentary or your own thoughts on this topic.
